What To Expect At A Funeral?

Attending a funeral is never easy. Not only are you dealing with the loss of a loved one, but there is also certain etiquette to follow. This, understandably, can all become quite overwhelming. Whether you have attended a funeral before or this is your first time, it’s always useful to feel prepared. In this guide, we will cover what to expect at a funeral, including what to wear and what to say. This way, you can focus on paying your respects, without having to worry.

What to wear

The answer to this question varies from funeral to funeral, so it is always important to check with the family members of the deceased before deciding what to wear. Unless specified otherwise, it is custom to wear black attire. Men usually wear a smart suit with a tie, while women can wear a black dress, skirt, or trouser suit. White shirts are fine to wear with a black suit jacket and trousers. The only exception to this rule is children. It is widely acceptable for children to wear any colour for a funeral.

While black is the standard dress code, some funerals request guests to break these rules and wear colourful clothing instead. Respect the wishes of the organiser and follow their dress code. Just be sure to avoid jeans, trainers, and hoodies.

What should I bring?

Although you are not expected to bring anything, there are a few items that may come in handy. Put some tissues in your handbag and bring some cash in case the family are raising funds for a particular charity. Some guests also send flowers to the family beforehand, but this is entirely optional.

Who can attend?

Because churches and crematoriums are public places, anyone is able to attend a funeral. Children are also able to attend funeral services and there are no age restrictions. It is entirely up to the parent whether or not to bring your child. Babies and toddlers are also welcome. Whatever their age, ensure they are wearing comfortable clothing and try to help them feel prepared.

What should I say?

While it can be difficult to start a conversation at a funeral, the key is to be yourself. Funerals are for sharing memories and for supporting one another through kind words, stories, and laughter. The most common phrase at funerals is “I’m so sorry for your loss.” While these words are always appreciated by family members of the deceased, there are many other things you can say to show that you care. Tell them that they are in your thoughts and prayers and let them know you are always available to talk. It may not seem much but these simple words will go a long way.

Where to sit at a Funeral?

Walking into a church or crematorium can feel daunting, especially if you are unsure where to sit. As a rule, immediate family and close friends sit in the first few rows and then the remaining seats can be filled. The Funeral Director will also be on hand to guide you.

What happens after the Funeral?

After a funeral service, there is usually some form of get together with food and drinks. This takes place in a private venue or the home of a relative.

Visiting the deceased in the chapel of rest

This would be discussed with family members who would instruct the Funeral Director.

Should children attend Funerals?

Children can attend funerals at the discretion of their parents. Do not think  toddlers, babies are a problem they are not, the thing to do is not restrict them as this is often what causes the problem just speak to family for their view.

At Fallon Funerals we always like to introduce older children to the chapel just before the service takes place, this is to show them what to expect and not to be frightened.

Who travels in the Funeral procession?

The family arranging the funeral usually decide who will be in any limousines following the hearse. If people are travelling in their own cars, they can sometimes follow the procession or choose to meet the procession where the service is being held.

Does the procession always leave from the home of the person who has died?

Not necessarily, the procession may leave from the home of a close relative or a nursing home when appropriate.  Mourners may decide to meet at the place of service. If you are not sure, check with the family or the funeral director.

End of a service?

When the service comes to a close the minister will then leave. Everyone will then stand to pay their final respects at the instruction of funeral director. The casket, depending on the service, will then be lowered, carried out or taken out of view by the closing of the curtains.

The casket may remain on view for loved ones to say one last goodbye before they leave. Friends will then leave first, followed by the remainder of the funeral attendees unless instructed by Funeral director. If it is a burial the casket will be taken to graveside for the committal.

After the Funeral?

After most services, the family or friends organising the funeral will provide a get together, with light refreshments either at a home or in a private function area such as a pub or hotel. This is an opportunity to show support to the family and share fond and happy memories of their loved one.

If you have any other questions or would like more information about funeral etiquette, Fallon Funerals will be able to offer you all the help and support you need.

Please get in touch info@fallonfunerals.com or call 0161 371 9431